We all know the Chemex as a delicious, simple, and beautiful coffee maker. Nothing makes a Chemex happier than brewing up a delicious batch of coffee. Which is why we regret to inform you that Chemex abuse has increased 94% in the last 12 months. Sticking flowers in your Chemex might look nice, but it's almost as cruel as putting a betta fish in a lily vase. Just look at these atrocities!

1. Someone call the police.

2. NSFW

3. Didn't your mother teach you any manners?

4. This is harder to watch than a Tyler Perry movie.

5. This is actually a beautiful arrangement, no jokes.

6. Somewhere in the forest, a fairy just lost its wings.

7. This is illegal in every state except Colorado and Maine.

8. This is what it feels like to be held back a grade.

9. Don't jump!

Studies show that 9/10 cases of Chemex abuse are the direct result of running out of good coffee, and we can reduce the incidence rate of flowers in a Chemex by 96.5% simply by consuming one natural process Ethiopian coffee per week. If you or someone you know is in need of excellent coffee, consider a subscription to Angels' Cup! Tasting flights start at $8.99 and include 4 different single-origin coffees. It's a guaranteed way to make sure flowers never end up in your Chemex!